


Baby in a trench coat

by hakim



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baby Castiel, Female Castiel, M/M, Sam and Dean A+ babysitting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 06:36:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7673842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hakim/pseuds/hakim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel was turned into a baby. Sam and Dean not only had to figure out who did this to him, they also needed to babysit this handful infant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby in a trench coat

Sam and Dean just got back from an exhausting hunt last night, and it was a blessing for them to finally get a solid eight hour sleep. Dean woke up feeling refreshed, with a cup of coffee in his hand and breakfast burrito in his mouth, he was sure to have a relaxing day.  
He was just about to swallow the last bite of his breakfast when he heard a noise that sounded similar to a cry from his bedroom. Dean immediately grabbed the gun on the table and rushed down the hallway. He opened the door with cautious, but what he saw wasn’t close to anything he had imagined.  
A blue-eye baby on Dean’s bed, in a pile of cloth that looked like Castiel’s suit and trench coat. The baby couldn’t be more than a year old. He looked at Dean with his tear-filled eyes and pouted. Dean took a deep breath.  
“Sam! Get your butt in here!!”

***

After fifteen minutes of debate, they finally reached the conclusion that the infant was Castiel, or at least someone related to him. Dean took a few second to mourn for the lost of his day off, and then picked up baby Castiel with his old ACDC shirt.  
“So what are we gonna do?” Dean asked.  
“Well, first we should go get some baby stuff from the store, and then we’ll find out what happened to Cas.”  
“Yeah you’re right.” Dean sighed. “Do you think it’s a witch or something?”  
“Maybe, but I don’t remember pissing any witch lately.” Sam replied.  
“We’ll figure that out later, let’s just go get him some diaper before he pisses in my shirt.”

Their trip to the store was less than an hour but yet stressful. There were so many brands of diaper and baby formula to choose from, and they ended up grabbing whatever looked decent (mainly because Castiel peed like Dean predicted).

“Ok that’s it, you’re wearing your own cloths now.” Dean threw the shirt in the laundry basket and wrapped Castiel in the trench coat.  
“Dude, you can’t possibly blame him for not holding his bladder.” Sam didn’t even try to hold back his laugh.  
“Shut up and come help me!”

***

Taking care of an infant was a difficult task for sure. Baby Castiel needed constant attention, rather it was feeding him or playing with him, and he would cry in protest if they put him down on a chair. He was a curious little one, Castiel wanted to touch everything and put them in his mouth. At one point, he got hold of their blade and almost gave them a heart attack.  
Sam and Dean tried to settle the whole babysitting situation with rock paper scissors, but eventually they took turns taking care of him after the third time Castiel puked on Dean’s shoulder.

“You burp too much Cas, and giving me that puppy dog eyes aren’t gonna get you out of trouble.” Dean complained while changing the diaper after dinner.  
“It’s funny that you two are dating.” Sam said, chuckled a bit when Dean stared him dead in the eyes. “You do realize that makes you a pedophile, right?”  
“Shut your cakehole!” Dean grunted. “You find anything yet?”  
“No, nothing strange or witchcrafty around the town, or even the city.” Sam spoke behind the laptop. Dean muffled a sound and handed Castiel to Sam in order to grab a beer from the kitchen.

Castiel sat quietly on Sam’s lap, playing with his shirt and soaking the flannel with saliva.  
“You tired buddy?” Sam looked down as Castiel let out a yawn.  
“I’ll take him to bed.” Dean picked him up and petted his little head. “But it’s your turn to feed him if he wakes up at night.”  
He left with a grin of victory as Sam yelled an annoyed “dude!”

Dean brought baby Castiel to a spare room next to his and built a nest with blankets and pillows. The bed looked comfortable, and Dean was sure Castiel would fall asleep as soon as he was surrounded by the soft fabrics.  
“Ok buddy, go to sleep.” He laid Castiel on the bed, but the infant fisted onto his shirt tightly and refused to let go. “Come on Cas, you gotta sleep.”  
But Castiel insisted with firm grips, and he would let out a soft sob whenever Dean tried to pull him away.

“Ok ok, how about a lullaby?” He huffed a laugh and cleared his throat. “Hush little angel, don’t say a word. Dean’s gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird won’t sing, Dean’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.”  
Castiel giggled, grabbing Dean’s nose as he made goofy faces singing the song.  
“Damn it, now you’re all excited and ready to play, aren’t you?” Dean sighed with a smile. He put Castiel on the bed and settled next to the baby, and he started to sing again.

“Hey, Jude, don’t make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better.”  
“Remember to let her into your heart. Then you can start to make it better.”

***

After sleep deprived for the fourth day, Sam and Dean began to admire parents around the world. Besides not getting enough sleep, what frustrated them the most was the fact that they were nowhere close to finding out what happened to Castiel. They wanted to do more research for spells or look for strange local news, but taking care of a baby took too much time from them. And whenever they managed to put Castiel to sleep, they were too tired to move a finger.

“I’m starting to consider calling Crowley in for this one…” Dean buried his face in the palms, voice hoarse and grumpy. His hair sticking out in every direction, dark circles under his eyes.  
“No! What do you think he would do if he knows Cas is now a harmless baby?” Sam was no better. He just finished his third cup of coffee, and it wasn’t pass noon yet.  
Sam turned back to the laptop, carelessly scanning the site with half-closed eyes. A small paragraph caught his attention and he pause his finger on the mouse.  
“Hey, get this.” Sam pushed Dean awake and showed him the article. “The Kansas City Zoo had a bizarre incident where the monkeys started dirty dancing to Nicki Minaj, freaking out the kids and their parents.”  
“What the hell?!”  
“Yeah, apparently the broadcast system had a glitch and started to play Anaconda…”  
“So what? There were some monkeys possessed by whatever it was and just…went nuts about Nicki Minaj?” Dean said doubtfully. “Do you really think we need to check this one out? Maybe they added some weird shit in the food or something.”  
“What else do we get?” Sam sighed. “You go, as an animal behaviorist or something. I’ll stay here with Cas and do more research on animal possession.”  
“Ok fine. At least I can get out of the house for a bit.”  
“Yeah lucky you.”

Sam went through almost every bookshelf and archive for animal possession but found little useful information, the Men of Letters seemed to have minimal interest on this subject. And he had trouble connecting the incident at the zoo to Castiel’s.  
“Maybe calling Crowley isn’t a bad idea after all…” He growled after few hours of research. Castiel just woke up from his nap and started to cry.  
“What’s wrong? You didn’t have a good sleep?” Sam went over to the more comfortable chair in the corner and checked on Castiel. “Oh, maybe you need to change?”  
And Sam was greeted by the horrible exploded diarrhea in the diaper.  
“Ugh!! Geezus what did Dean give you for lunch? This is just wrong!” Sam’s face twitched at the catastrophe, and Castiel chuckled at his dramatic expression.

Sam heard the bunker’s front door opened and closed when he finished cleaning up Castiel. Dean came in, looking irritated and defeated.  
“Hey, how did it go? Anything?” Sam asked.  
“Nada, the whole thing didn’t make any sense!”  
“Tell me about it.”  
“Whatever, I’m ordering pizza for dinner.” Dean threw the suit jacket on the chair and went into the kitchen to make the call.

Sam sat back down. With Castiel in his arms chewing his flannel, he began to browse the articles on the internet again. He stopped scrolling down and clicked on one of the local news, he frowned with a puzzled face. Castiel looked up at Sam, wondering why he stopped petting him.

“Dean, come check this out!” He yelled from the desk.  
“What?”  
“I found another case reported just this morning.” Sam pointed at the screen. “The town couple miles away had several reports on seeing a wizard. According to the witnesses, he would knock on their door and ask to borrow a computer to watch porn.”  
“Huh?”  
“Yeah, like literally pointy hat, white beard wizard.”  
“This is ridiculous, what the hell is going on? First dirty dancing moneys, now porn watching Gandalf?” Dean wailed with confusion.  
“Exactly, haven’t we seen this kind of poor sense of humor before?”  
“You mean this is the frigging Trickster all over again?”  
“It might be. I mean, that would explain those wacky incidents and why Cas is an infant.”  
“Then we gotta find…” Dean was interrupted by the door bell, he went up the stairs and answered the door. “Must be the pizza.”

The pizza delivery guy was standing few inches away from the door, head hung low, face covered by the cap.

“Hey chuckleheads!” He raised his head and revealed his face.  
“Gabriel!!”  
“Hi boys!” He handed the pizza to Dean and let himself in. “Took you long enough to figure things out. But yet again, I shouldn’t have too much expectation for you two.”  
“What the hell Gabriel! What is all of this about?” Sam got up from the chair and rushed towards him.  
“Oh, it’s nothing. Cassie and I were just having a little fun, weren't we?” Gabriel picked up Castiel and poked his rosy cheeks. Castiel pushed Gabriel’s face and whined his objection.

“Damn it! Turn him back!” Dean yelled angrily.  
“Ok fine, I know you want your boy toy back already.” Gabriel teased. He put baby Castiel down and snapped his fingers. The next second Castiel was sitting on the floor naked, with only the trench coat on. “Wow Cassie! I know you’ve been trying to kink up the bedroom with Dean, but you don’t have to show everybody.”

“Gabriel, you know how much trouble you caused the Winchesters? And next time, don’t vent your frustration on me just because you’ve developed feelings for Sam!” He quickly tied up the coat and protested to Gabriel.  
“What?” Sam and Dean asked with one voice, disbelieved with what they heard.  
“Sam, Gabriel pranked us because he was trying to get your attention.”  
“Cas, if you don’t shut up I’ll make you regret Dad’s ever created you!” Gabriel narrowed his eyes, but Castiel disregarded the threat and kept going on.  
“Instead of this circuitous attention seeking pranks, you could’ve just told him, Gabe-”

His sentence was cut off by a girl’s voice, and then there were Sam and Dean’s jaw-dropping look and Gabriel’s uncontrollable laugh. Castiel was confused, but soon he realized the voice was coming out from his mouth.

“What…what’s happening?”  
“Aww Cassie, you’re such a pretty girl!” Gabriel took out his phone and snapped a picture. Castiel noticed now he needed to look up to meet Gabriel’s eyes, also Sam and Dean were even taller than they used to be.  
“Damn it Gabriel! Change me back!!”  
“Don’t be stupid, this is the perfect opportunity for you to have fun with Dean in the bedroom! You can thank me later!” Gabriel ruffled Castiel’s hair and then winked at Dean.

“Alright you naughty kids, I’m outta here. The next episode of Casa Erotica isn’t gonna film itself.” He pressed some mouth spray inside his cheek and wiggled his eyebrows. “Oh and Sammy, send me some dirty prayers will ya?”  
Gabriel zapped out before they could say anything, leaving Sam and Dean cursing to the air.

“That went well…” Castiel sighed in defeat.  
“Don’t worry Cas, we’ll find him and make him change you back.” Sam said.  
“How? Through dirty prayers?” Dean smirked.  
“Shut up Dean.” Sam hushed his brother and gave Castiel an encouraging shoulder squeeze. “We’ll find him. You can help us since now you’re an adult.”  
“Yes, I miss moving around without anyone carrying me.”  
“So you remember everything when you were a baby?” Dean asked curiously.  
“I hate to admit it, but yes I do remember, and it was embarrassing.” Castiel blushed furiously. “Thank you guys for…umm, taking care of me.”  
“Sure thing Cas, but you really were a handful.” Dean poked fun at Castiel and wrapped his arms around the small body.

Sam left the room with a smile and an eye roll. Maybe he should leave them be and let Castiel be a girl for couple days, Sam thought, he was sure Dean would enjoy the fun.  
And no way Sam was going to send Gabriel dirty prayers.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm considering writing Dean/Fem!Cas smut, maybe?


End file.
